Pastor Mensa Otabil has identified “mutual respect” as the key ingredient for a successful marriage.
According to the General Overseer of the International Central Gospel Church, although certain factors are necessary to keep marriages together, failure of a couple to respect each other and think selflessly about the needs of each other, will spell doom for the union.
Talking about pre-marital relationships in a live session on Facebook, the leader and founder of ICGC said: “For marriage to work, people must be respectful of each other that’s probably the most important foundation”.
“They must be respectful of each other and they must think selflessly concerning each other.
“If they have these two, no matter the temperament, tribe, whatever; the marriage will work.
“If these two are lacking, you can have all the chemistry you want, you’re going to have some serious struggles because these are the two important glues that hold a relationship for a very long time.”
Pastor Otabil stressed: “There has to be mutual respect and there have to be a given of each other’s self to the other person. Prioritising the other person and giving selflessly to the other person”.
“I think so many things can be worked through if the fundamentals are right and I wouldn’t want somebody to say: ‘I’m not going to marry this person because our temperaments are too different’, that’s why you should probably explore the person because you’re very different from them.
“Even when your values are very different in terms of family values, how you were raised up and socialising in your families are very different, you can still work it out”, he said.
“Even if there’s a huge educational gap you can still work it out, there’s a huge social gap – one is very rich the other is poor – it can still be worked out if they respect each other and are willing to give off themselves to each other they can work out whatever is there.
“So, I wouldn’t really place too much emphasis on temperaments. It’s important sometimes, we need to do temperamental assessment to know who you are not so much to decide whom you should marry but so you understand your partner a little bit and know how to relate better with them.”
Pastor Otabil noted that the lack of respect in contemporary times is what has led to a lot of marriage failures.
“I think it’s is the most critical factor for marital failures this time – the lack of respect for each other. Men don’t respect women; women don’t respect men. Most men see women only from a sexual point of view, sexual satisfaction and women also probably see it that way and there’s no respect for the person and there’s no courtesy towards the person, no kindness towards the person, no gentleness towards the person, no value for the person and if you don’t do that the marriage is not going to work.”